Sperm Donor Nightmare

 Like many women, I had not found Mr. Right, and my biological clock was ringing loud and clear. I was 40 years old and realized if I wanted to become a mother, it was now-or-never. Perhaps selfishly, I wanted my own biological child. As a special education teacher, I had taught many emotionally disturbed children who had been adopted. I figured if I had my own child, I would at least know half of his/her genetic background. The other half had to come from someone male, obviously, so I decided to use an anonymous sperm donor. At least he would have been screened for STDs and a few other genetic disorders. It seemed safer than having an "accident" with someone I hardly knew. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing, having a child without a father, so I left it up to God. I made a deal: I would try three times, and if it was meant to happen, it would. I did not realize at the time how difficult it can be for a 40 year old woman to conceive. My odds were about 5% per month.

 

I did my homework and discovered a sperm bank in Florida that appealed to me. It still is the only non-profit sperm bank in the US, and it limited a donor's offspring to 10 families, which I thought was very responsible. Also, they were the only facility at the time who offered "Yes" donors-meaning that the donor was willing to be identified when the child turned 18. I thought it was important that my child be able to know the other half of his/her identity. My mother, who was always my personal cheerleader, and I went over their catalog and chose five "Yes" donors and one back-up "No" donor. All of the other "Yes" donors were either short and/or chubby, and as my body tends toward chubby, I wanted to give my child a chance to inherit a better body!

 

Being 40, my doctor felt it was important to test my fertility. He put me on Clomid to do a "challenge," to see if my old ovaries responded well. The chance of my having twins was increased by encouraging my ovaries to produce more than one egg, but I decided to take that chance. I called the bank to order the sperm, only to discover than the five "Yes" donors were out-of-stock. Being reluctant to give up so soon when I was primed and ready, I ordered the "No" donor's sperm. He was over six feet tall, slender, blonde, blue-eyed, and had a master's degree. A woman at the facility told me he was "very popular." Two vials are usually needed to perform insemination on two consecutive days, but only one was available. I paid for the sperm and delivery on dry ice by FedEx, thinking it probably wouldn't work anyway. I'd try to get a "Yes" donor next month.

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